After eight weeks of bedrest with my firstborn son, our little miracle was born. As a new mom, I had prepared for an all-natural birth and about an hour in, seriously regretted this decision. Ball sitting, backrubs, tortured screams, and the most attentive, forgiving husband, made our son’s entrance into the world a reality. Due to his premature birth, he lived in the NICU for a week, while I spent sleepless nights in the hospital room nearby so I could nurse him and comfort him at any hour of the night. In order to ensure his health and enable him to go home, a large needle needed to be inserted into his tiny veins. My husband was the one to witness this horrible reality as the lovely, well-meaning nurses poked and prodded his tiny leg.
“Please, my husband begged, “you have to get this right. Let me pray.”
He prays over our son and the nurses, turning to God in these first moments of life, “Would you allow them to get the needle in easily, Father, so that he can get well?”
The next attempt to insert the needle was successful and my husband breathed a sigh of relief and a silent thank you to God for his faithfulness. After this experience, we realized this was just the beginning of being called on to trust God for our children and to lead our kids to lean on Him in difficult moments.
Years later, our little NICU baby was a strong, healthy 13-year-old. He was a soccer player, goalie, and oldest brother of four. While playing outside on a strange wooden makeshift pull-up bar that our previous homeowners had installed about 6 ft off the ground, our son began to scream and the neighbor kids bolted for the back door to get my attention. I ran outside to see him curled up on the ground, cradling his arm that was twisted in a direction it should never go.
My first reaction was to freak out, I hate blood and am not great at dealing with medical issues. Thankfully the older kids in the neighborhood helped me out, and went to get their mom. I left my other three and sped to the hospital with my son in the back, called my husband to meet me there. They made us sit in the waiting room with his arm bent horribly. Finally, we were able to go in, the doctors and nurses took an endless amount of time to help him and to give him relief. His arm was bent in different ways, he was experiencing a pain I never wanted my kids to have to go through. Once he had been cared for and we waited for a hard cast, we went home to begin to accept that the excitement of summer would be dulled by this broken arm.
Going into my son’s room the day after it happened, this typically happy, confident kid says, “Why mom, would God let this happen? I don’t understand.”
It took all I had to not say “yeah, God, why? We give our hearts to you, and you let this happen?” Instead, I took a deep breath and sat by his bed, I said, “I know it is really hard and there will be things you cannot do. But look at all your friends who were there for you and cheering you up. Thankfully there were people there to help you and doctors who can help your arm heal. You will get better, God is here with you on the days when you feel sad, and angry that you can’t do what your friends are doing.”
I realized that I could not give him trite answers like bad things happen for a reason, or maybe God wants you to spend more time with him so now you have time. Oh man, those words could have been detrimental and as adults, we know when someone tries to offer those words because they have nothing better to say, they make us angry. They don’t help us turn to God, but instead turn us away from a God that could allow something so difficult and disappointing. I wanted to teach my son that it is hard, it kinda stinks, but God is here with you, he gives you his comfort and his understanding. We do not always know why hard things happen but we can find strength and comfort from God through it. God is always with us and never leaves us in the midst of our challenges.
What opportunities has God put in your life, and in the lives of your children, to help teach them to trust God? Is there a way to turn a difficult situation into a moment of building faith?
